Is all of this turmoil necessary?
The pre-wedding ordeal causes many Bridegrooms to utter questions just like this.
Brides are famous for their excitement over their weddings, but their Men are also known to be less thrilled. Some Bridegrooms complain of feeling uncomfortable during the pre-wedding process and activities. Are they less social or less emotionally expressive?
Grooms may be less enthusiastic because of all the high stress activities they face leading up to the wedding. Grooms have to get the date. Bridegrooms have to win the hearts of their ladies . Bridegrooms have to pay all the bills along the way. Grooms have to win over their fiances’ ‘ families and friends. Men propose. Men ask for the Father’s permission. Grooms often endure the whole pre-wedding test as tag along to their ladies . The whole process is expensive, emotionally charged, and socially engaging.
When you think about it, why do Men experience so much stress over the long list of social encounters? If you have missed it, just watch Grooms at pre-wedding showers, parties, rehearsals, etc.
As a minister, I make it a practice of meeting with fiances’ and Grooms a month or so before the wedding. In a majority of the situations, the ladies are all excited and full of ideas. The fiances’ come with questions and notebooks ready to lay out every detail. Often Grooms come along with their fiances’ and sit there with blank stares.
I discovered, that Bridegrooms have their own ideas, but they may hesitate to share their thoughts, feelings, and interests. For this reason, after listening and interacting with the ladies ; I turn to the Bridegrooms and begin asking open ended questions to uncover their thoughts.
Are weddings just for brides ? Some have suggested so. On the other hand, to have a wedding you need both ladies and Grooms . Maybe out of a desire to avoid strife or not wanting to suppress their ladies ‘ enthusiasm; Bridegrooms are often less aggressive as it relates to their weddings.
Great ideas and deep seated feelings are often held by Men . Expressing these with sensitivity is an art. It takes some thinking, listening, and dreaming as well as careful open communication.
Men need help to empower them and make their weddings all they can be. Early planning can reduce stresses and relieve anxieties. A professional wedding coordinator can support and encourage Men to feel good about their participation. A sensitive caring minister can help Men feel like they are an important part of their wedding. Hmmm. Men do belong at those pre-wedding events, at the wedding, the reception, and for a lifetime of marriage.
Fiances’ may dream of their wedding day for years even from their preschool days. Men usually do not even think about the wedding until their hearts are captivated by their brides . Still given adequate time, consideration, and encouragement Bridegrooms can enjoy the process and their wedding too. It is vital to consider their feelings, thoughts, and ideas; while minimizing stresses at the same time.
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